


You May Be A Creepy Spider, But You're My Creepy Spider

by YukichanMikudesu



Category: spiderpool - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-06-10 12:59:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6957475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YukichanMikudesu/pseuds/YukichanMikudesu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another Universe! Spiderman is a world known mercenary. Deadpool is a world known hero. Spiderman has always wanted to meet Deadpool. Deadpool has always secretly admired Spiderman. What's Deadpool to do when he's sent on a mission to bring Spiderman to the Stark Tower alive? Also, Pepper stays a little girl through out the whole story. And Tony and Steve.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Little Pepper

Whistling filled the room that a certain person was within. The man who whistled a little tune was sitting upside down on the ceiling. He was currently waiting for his payment. He had just finished his job and just wanted his money to buy himself some chimichangas. Maybe some new video games too. He had enough money, right? 

[Yeah,] a voice by the name of White stated. [We've got enough money.]

{We have enough money for three new video games AND chimichangas?} a voice named Yellow questioned.

[Of course we do. Do you think I'd lie to you about chimichangas?]

"Yeah," the upside down man agreed aloud. "Why would White lie about chimichangas? I don't think he wants to get on my bad side."

[What could you even do if I was on your bad side?]

"Ignore every little thing you say and only listen to Yellow for a whole month."

[Oh I can already imagine the horror.]

{Can we really go through with that? I love the thought of shunning White for a month!}

"Only if he's lying. You know we need him anyways."

[I take that to the heart, Peter. Those words will forever be in my heart.]

{Shut up! You don't have a heart!}

[So I'm a heartless?]

{A what?}

[A heartless. Those things in Kingdom Hearts that takes a human's heart.]

{Oh, those. I don't know. Are you a heartless?}

[That's what I was asking you!]

"Hush," the man hissed. "I sense a heartbeat."

{Wait, we ARE heartlesses!}

[Shut up! We don't want little Peter to slip up! We need this money for chimichangas!]

{Fine. I'm making a pouty face by the way.}

"You don't have a face." The man sensed the heartbeat quicken to an alarming pace. The door slowly opened and a little girl entered the room.

"He-hello M-Mister Sp-Spider," she stuttered.

{Can we keep her?}

[Maybe some other time.]

"Hello little girl," Spiderman purred. "You're in luck. My voice really like you." Spiderman lightly tapped his head as he said voices. "That means your pretty safe around me. Your father on the other hand. Let's just say that the voices think he's a little female dog, hm?"

{Seriously?}

[What? Didn't know Peter has standards still?]

{Actually, I had no idea.}

[Just shut up.]

"Is that the money your daddy owes me?" The little girl nodded her head. "Alright. Put it right here, hm?" The little girl placed the money underneath Spiderman. "Your father doesn't love you very much, does he?" The little girl froze and slowly looked up, tears in her eyes. "Does he?"

"How did you know?"

"A father who loves his child wouldn't send his child into a dangerous spider's web." Spiderman dropped himself down so that he was in front of the little girl. "Wanna come with me? I can protect you."

{So we DO get to keep her?!}

[Are we really going to do this?]

"You'll protect me?"

"Of course! I can teach you how to be an amazing little spider! I know, you can become Spidergirl!"

"Daddy said not to listen to you."

"Does daddy care?" The girl made a sad expression. "Here, I'll give you a few days to think it over." Spiderman placed a small Spiderman doll into the little girl's hands. "If you ever need me, there's a little button right on his little belly, okay? If you want to come with me, make sure you press that button. If you want me to leave immediately, hit the button three times. Got it?" The little girl nodded her head. "Good. Remember, if you need me hit the button on my belly. I've got to go now sweet cheeks. I'm always hanging around." Spiderman kissed her forehead before he took the bag and swung out of the room.

{We shouldn't have given her a choice.}

"She'll be ours before you know it."

[Are we gonna eat this one?]

{Are you kidding me?!}

"I agree with Yellow. What is wrong with you White? This is the first time I've seen a child look at me like that. She was absolutely adorable. What was her name again?"

{Pots something?}

[It was Pepper Potts, fiancé of Tony Stark.]

"Well that's going to change, ain't it?"

{Of course it will!}

"I just hope her father doesn't frighten her too much."

[...what do you mean?]

"The father's an alcoholic. The girl looks exactly like her mother. It's the only reason why he hasn't given her to me as some sort of offering."

{Are you serious?}

[That's disgusting.]

"I know, but it's how normal people are."

{I despise normal people.}

[For once, I agree with Yellow. That's just terrible. Normal people are disgusting.]

"Aren't they?"

Spiderman continued swinging, unaware of what would happen later tonight.

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Two teal eyes stared in horror. The little teal eyed girl tried to get away from her father. He smelled of some sort of drink and clearly wanted something bad. The little girl cried as she reached for the toy Spiderman the spider had given to her earlier that day. She grasped it and immediately hit the toy's belly once, twice when it was suddenly smacked out of her hands. She turned around to see her father looming above her. "You look as beautiful as ever Cheril," the man slurred. The girl cried even more. "Why are you crying Cheril? Are those tears of joy? Why, I'm flattered." The girl's shirt was ripped off and she tried to scream only for her father to slam his lips to hers. There was a small click and then he was yanked off the girl. The girl held her eyes tightened shut in fear.

"I'm not that scary, am I?" a very familiar voice asked. The girl opened her eyes to see Spiderman. She lunged forward and he held up something last second that she almost flew through. She backed away in horror, thinking the masked man put something terrible on her. She looked down to see a shirt with Mister Spider’s sign. She looked up and jumped in the man’s arms. “Whoa girly! Hold your excitement.” There was a moment of silence before Mister Spider spoke up again. “Yellow, why would I say ‘hold your horses’ if she doesn’t have any horses to hold… Yeah, I get that it’s an expression but it’s not one that makes sense… I don’t care!” Mister Spider swatted a hand in the air, swatting at nothing.

“Who are you talking to Mister Spider?” the girl asked.

“First, you need to tell me your name.”

“My name's Pepper.”

“Are you a spice?”

“No. Why?”

“Your name is Pepper and there’s a spice called pepper,” Spiderman explained. “We should get going. Is there anything you want to bring with you?” Pepper pointed to the little Spider toy that laid on the floor. “How about we leave that little guy on the shelf or upside down on the ceiling and I’ll get you an even bigger one?” Pepper nodded in pure glee, thinking that a bigger one would be much better. “Good, now we really need to go. Anything else you want to bring? Maybe clothes or a very special gift someone gave you?” Pepper shook her head. “One hundred percent sure? We’re not coming here ever again.”

“I’m sure,” Pepper cried. “All I need is a Mister Spider plushie!”

“Alright, I’ll find you one. Don’t worry, Mister Spider’s got ya!” With that, they swung out of the window and into the direction of Mister Spider’s hideout. Well, not before Mister Spider put the little plush Spiderman on the ceiling staring down at Pepper’s father with a small note attached.


	2. Lock Down

Tony stared at the crying man. He was crying and screaming something about a Spiderman. Tony held a small toy in his hand, something that was quickly found at the scene. He noticed a little note that had been tucked into a little, barely visible pocked. He pulled it out and ran to his father. "Dad, look!" he cried.

"Not now, Tony," his father growled.

"But-"

"No buts!"

"But I found this in the little toy!" Tony yelled at his father, throwing the paper at the elder. The father picked the small piece of paper up and slowly unfolded it. When it was completely unfolded, it was the size of a photograph.

"Looks like Spiderman isn't all bad," Tony's father sighed, calling over his officers. He showed them the photograph and they each made a look of disgust.

"You're a pedophile," one of them growled, cuffing the man.

"What do you mean?" Tony's father showed the man the photo and his eyes went wide in shock. "I was drunk!" he cried.

"You still attempted intercourse with a minor. For once in my life, I can't believe I'm actually glad about that man being in this world." One of the officers squatted in front of Tony.

"Where'd you find this photo son?" he asked.

"Here," Tony said, pointing to a little hidden pocket on the doll.

"Howard," the officer called. Tony's father looked over. "The kid said he found it in the pocket of the doll. We've got a whole bunch of these little dolls back in the base. Maybe there's more photographs over there. Maybe that's why children kept disappearing and reappearing in different places. You know, how they'd go from one side of the earth to the other?"

"Possibly," Howard said, rubbing his stubble. "Come on, Tony. Let's go back to the base. I've got a job for you. It'll make me proud." Tony's eyes lite with delight. He quickly ran after his father, glad for the opportunity to make his father proud. All little Tony ever wanted to do was make his father proud. Tony followed his father to the limo that waited for them and entered after his father. "To the base," the father commanded.

"Sir, your son."

"He'll be fine. He's old enough."

"But-"

"He'll be fine! I have a job for him. I need his help, for once." Tony stared at the worried eyes of the driver. He obviously knew something Howard did not.

"If you say so sir." The drive began and Tony stared out the window. Tony had never been to the base. His father had always told him he was far too young. Not old enough he'd always. Tony was excited to finally see this special base almost no one knew of. Eventually, they arrived and the car slowed to a stop. The driver rolled down his window. "Hey Mike, can you open the gate?"

"You realize we're on lock down?"

"Boss wants in." The driver pointed to the undisturbed Howard.

"Does he know what happened?"

"I tried to explain but yeah."

"Normally you wouldn't care."

"You haven't seen all of the passengers."

"What do you mean?"

"Who's on boss' right?"

"Hold on, wait! Why's he bringing his son!"

"Said he needs him for something."

"But that's dangerous. Number fifty-five is gonna be attracted to him!"

"I know, I tried to explain, but he didn't listen."

"What's taking so long?" Howard growled.

"Sir, you do realize that we're on lock down, right?"

"So?"

Mike looked at the young boy. Mike would've cussed then and there but he had to be careful, he didn't want to taint the boy's innocence more than this trip would. "Do you remember why we would be on lock down?"

"It'll be fine. Just open the damn gates!"

"Yes sir! I see what you mean." Mike had whispered that last part to the driver. He opened the door, praying with all his heart that the boy would survive number fifty-five. The driver went through the gates and drove to the large building. Suddenly, the car stopped.

"Why'd we stop now!" Howard growled, becoming frustrated. The driver rolled down Howard's window.

"Hello sir," a security man said to Howard.

"Hello Jones, can you explain to me why we're stopping so much?"

"Well sir, we're on a code red. If you want to enter, you need to go by foot from here on out."

"So be it. Come on Tony."

"Sir, are you sure you want to bring your son?"

"Why is everyone worried about my son! Is no one worried about me?"

"It's not that sir. It's-"

"It doesn't matter. He's coming with me Jones. And you and I are going to have a talk later." The security guard took a deep breath, nodding his head. He opened the door, stepping aside for Howard and his son. Once they were out, Jones closed the doors and the car sped away, stopping at the gate for a little bit before driving off, the driver having taken his partner with him far from this place. "Alright, time to drop the formalities and talk to each other as partners. While walking of course."

"Alright Howard." They began walking towards the tall building.

"Do you really care about my son more than me?"

"No," Jones said as he handed Tony a small gas mask.

"Then why was it that the second I mentioned my son you asked me about him?"

"Because of his blood line." Jones gently secured a Stark gas mask on Howard.

"What about his blood line?"

Jones placed a Stark gas mask on himself. "I'm gonna say you don't want to back out now. Am I right? You don't want to go to the safety of our sweet hotel room and make sweet love?"

"No, I wanna know what's going on and the only way is in."

"If you want Howard. I suggest you take a hold of your son's hand."

"He'll be fine."

"Howard, it's the best idea for what's behind these walls."

"What's the worst that can happen? He'll get nabbed by the worst thing we got in there?"

Jones gulped loudly and immediately changed the subject, walking into the building. "Where are you bringing your son to?"

"That room with all the Spiderman dolls."

"That room doesn't have an oxygen supply."

"Why not?" The door suddenly slammed behind them and a metal book shelf was slammed against the door. Howard and Tony turned towards the door as a black figure scurried off. "What the hell was that!"

"I asked you if you wanted to leave."

"Doesn't tell me what that is Jones!"

"I don't know what it is either, I'm just a security guard."

"For a reason Jones! It's for your safety. I don't put you on the front lines because you could get hurt!"

"I could get hurt being a security guard."

"You could get hurt by bullets and knives, a wound that could easily heal. On the front lines, your surrounded by dangerous, blood thirsty creatures. Besides, I'd prefer you get hurt around me rather than around one of the people on the front line! We never know if they've been possessed by one of the creatures!" Tony felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise as he felt something touch his hair. He whipped around to see a black thing running off. Tony turned and tried to tell his father when he realized something terrible: he was not wearing a Stark gas mask. This meant that no matter how hard he tried to talk, nothing would come out. He ran much closer to his father who was clearly distracted by the conversation he was having with Jones.

"We need to be careful Howard. I heard there was an incident."

"What do you mean?"

"What, were you not listening to the warnings your driver and his partner tried to give you?"

"Wait, Mike and Lucas are partners?"

"Not my point. Were you listening to them?"

"No."

"Well, apparently, one of the creatures didn't find their wife satisfactory so they decided to chose their own instead of telling one of the people here."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"How strange."

"Yeah."

"The women we chose are very carefully chosen. It should always be satisfactory unless..."

"Unless what, don't leave me hanging Howard!"

"Unless someone deliberately kept giving the creature the wrong mate."

"Or maybe the wrong gender."

"Excuse me?"

"Maybe everything about the person was correct except the gender."

"Why do you think that?"

"You have to think of these creatures as though they were humans. Some humans are okay with any gender while others want a specific gender. Maybe it was the wrong gender."

"Possibly."

"Where are we headed again?"

"I just told you Jones! We're headed to the room filled with dolls!" Howard and Jones were too into their conversation to notice the sound of something climbing into the air vents, something Tony noticed immediately. Tony felt himself growing slightly paranoid as he walked around, feeling eyes on him.

"Can we keep him? He's our gender," a voice hissed in the background.

"No," a voice that sounded exactly the same. "Did you not hear the leader running through the vents? There's only one place the vents lead to with what the second in command did to the place."

"And that's to?"

"The doll room."

"Right. The room with no oxygen. How does that make sense?"

"The leader will find a way, he always does." Tony felt his fear intensify at those words.

"We're here," Jones sighed. "Here's the room with the dolls.

"Go in there and look through those dolls, okay? I know that there are photos in every pocket. Go get them for me and make me proud, hm?"

Tony nodded reluctantly, entering the room. The door was closed behind him and he slowly walked to the center of the room. He sat down and stared at all the dolls. He, somehow, shoved them all to one side of the room and started going through each and every one. After what could possibly be over twelve hours, Tony found that he had finished with every single doll. He stood up, all the photos in a basket he had found. He began to walk towards the door when something grasped at his shirt. Tony turned around and stared at two blue eyes. "Where are you going so soon?"


	3. Bubble Butt

Wade Wilson sat in his bedroom, quietly sharpening knives. Thanks to enhanced hearing, he heard incredibly fast and hasty footsteps headed in his direction. He looked up just as the door was yanked open.

 

“Deadpool!” a red haired woman yelled.

 

“Natasha, where’s your cool?” Wade snickered. “Why are you so panicky?”

 

“We discovered some new information on the spider!”

 

“Nat, he may be a mercenary, but he has a name. It’s Spiderman, his alias anyways.”

 

“Deadpool, this is serious!”

 

“Spit it out then,” Wade hummed, rolling his eyes underneath the mask he constantly wore not matter the occasion.

 

“Spiderman could actually be a good guy.”

 

Wade stared at Natasha, looking for any sign of lying. Upon seeing none, he allowed his jaw to go slack and hang wide open. “Are you kidding me? Last I checked, it was April fools.”

 

Natasha presented Wade with an unimpressed stare. “April fools was three weeks ago.”

 

“Just making sure,” Wade hummed. “So, Spiderman is actually a good guy?”

 

“Yeah, and Howard has a job for you.”

 

“When is the call mandatory?” Wade asked, eyes blown wide. He couldn’t help to hope the job had something to do with Spiderman.

 

“Within the hour.”

 

“Thanks Nat.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

Natasha turned around and walked out, closing the door behind her. Once she was gone, her footsteps no longer close enough to be heard, Wade grabbed his laptop. He went to a questionnaire website and searched up his favorite person on the entire sight. He stared at Spiderman’s profile, immediately noticing a new post.

 

_‘Does anyone out there know where I can find a place that can make costumes? I’ve got a friend who wants a costume for his daughter. She loves this spider.’_

 

Wade smirked, tilting his head in thought. He turned his head and looked at the outside. He knew how to make outfits. He could offer up his service and either catch Spiderman, or possibly gain a bit of his trust. Wade looked back at the computer screen before responding to the question.

 

_‘I know how to make costumes. If you give me the dimensions, I can make it for you.’_

 

A response popped up almost immediately. Seems like Spiderman’s not very crime active right now.

 

_‘Awesome. Can you make things other than costumes? Like shirts, pants, dresses, socks, shoes, coats?’_

 

Wade smirked even wider.

 

_‘Maybe not shoes, but everything else you mentioned, yes.’_

 

_‘That’s great. How about you slide right into my DMs and we’ll start talkin.’_

 

Wade messaged Spiderman and waited for a response.

 

_‘Okay, here’s the thing. I absolutely need you to realize that I won’t be the one picking up the stuff. It’ll be my friend, and he has no idea I’m the spider. You can tell him, but he won’t believe you. Others have tried before. Those that have tried are dead. Don’t try. Got it?’_

 

It was nice to see Spiderman had morals.

 

_‘Got it. So, what do you want to start with?’_

 

_‘Cost. How much do your products cost? And are they high quality? Like, my outfit quality.’_

 

_‘I have the highest quality I can provide, which is pretty damn high. I think it’ll be almost equivalent to your outfit. And the cost will be discounted, just for you.’_

 

_‘Just for me? How sweet. Now, how much?’_

 

_‘A hundred for the entire outfit.’_

 

_‘Oh, that’s nothing!’_

 

_‘Good?’_

 

_‘It better be high quality.’_

 

_‘Don’t worry, it will. I’ll make sure of that.’_

 

_‘You better.’_

 

_‘Dimensions?’_

 

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Wade walked around the city in his costume, heading to the location Spiderman promised his friend was every Tuesday around lunch time. It was an ice cream parlor that, according to his research, had All You Can Get For Five every Tuesday all day. Menchie’s or something like that it was called. Wade looked at the gigantic sign with Menchie's written in bold letters. Wade walked into the building, immediately realizing there was only one customer, who was staring down at his phone. The cashier gasped before shrieking in pure glee. The only customer looked up, pure shock on his face, then he saw Wade. He looked at him before looking at the bag and back again. After a couple of seconds of staring at him, the man turned to his phone. Wade chose to ignore the lack of glee in the man’s expression and, instead, chose to buy some ice cream.

 

Peter stared at his phone, eyes glued to the screen.

 

‘ _Holy shit!_ ’ he couldn’t help but mentally hiss. ‘ _If I’m found out, I’m fucked._ ’

 

{Maybe it’s not the real guy?} Yellow chuckled hopefully.

 

[Are you stupid? Of course he’s the real thing, did you see his muscles?] White hissed back.

 

{No, we only saw his sexy ass!}

 

Peter wiggled in his seat, struggling to keep silent. Spiderman was notorious for speaking aloud to voices in his head. If Deadpool heard him with his enhanced hearing, that knowledge taken from personal experience out of costume, he was damn screwed, he might as well tie himself to a boulder and sink to the bottom of the damn ocean. The scariest thing was when Deadpool pulled up a chair and sat across from Peter.

 

Deadpool sat in front of the man, pulling up the mask to his nose before beginning to eat his ice cream. He watched as the man studied the scars before looking back to his phone as if he was just checking someone out. There was not a single twinge of disgust in his features.

 

“What? Do the scars bother you?” Wade asked, a twinge of annoyance in his tone.

 

The man looked up and stared straight into Wade’s eyes. “I’ve grown used to scars like that,” he said calmly.

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“Yeah, my friend has a couple scars like that all over his legs and arms,” the man said before looking back down at his phone. Wade tilted his head.

 

“Say, you aren’t waiting for anyone to buy a costume from, are you?” The man looked up, his eyes answer the question. “I think I’m the guy you’re waiting for.” The man extended his hand. Wade handed him the bag. The guy looked into it, touching the costume. Wade watched as he pulled tugged, pushed, and poked at the costume.

 

“He was right, this is high quality.” The man reached into his pocket and pulled out multiple ten dollar bills, slammed them onto the table, and ran off. Wade grabbed the cash and began counting. He huffed when he saw a note attached to one of the ten dollar bills.

 

_‘Keep the change.’_

 

“Didn’t give me much of a choice, did you?”

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

Wade yawned as he stretched. He extended his hands to the helm of his shirt when he suddenly got a call. He huffed, grabbing his phone.

 

“WADE WILSON!!” Howard’s voice yelled from the other end.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“You were supposed to call me HOURS ago!”

 

“Sorry Howard, I got busy.”

 

“Well, get busy with this!” Howard hissed. “I’m giving you a mission. We have a whole lot of evidence that Spiderman is actually a good guy. As a result, we want him on the team. To offer that, we need to get him into our building, alive. That’s your mission. Bring Spiderman to Stark Tower, _alive_. You got that.”

 

“Yes Howard. Done yet?”

 

“Done. Also-” Wade hanged up.

 

 

“Don’t keep talking if you’re done,” he said to the air.

 

He began to head towards the bathroom to shower and relax the rest of the day after sewing for hours on end when his computer made a loud, high pitched ping. “So who is messaging my DMs at this time?” Wade walked over to the computer, opening his DMs. Upon realizing it was from Spiderman, he smiled. Upon opening the DM, the smile was dropped and instead was replaced with a loud, deep moan. On his screen was, presumably, Spiderman’s ass with the caption ‘Bubble Butt’ underneath it. It could’ve been anyone’s ass, but it most definitely wasn’t a woman’s ass. In the photo, you could see the back of a beautiful, shaved, sack. You could also see a bit of legs and back. Every inch of skin you could see had some sort of scar.

 

_‘What’s this for?’_ Wade responded.

 

_‘Not questioning my friend about me and not telling him I was the spider.’_

 

_‘When can we do business again?’_

 

_‘I’ll let you know when.’_

 

Wade moaned deeply, almost immediately discarding himself of his clothing. He grabbed his hard member and began pumping to the sight of that ass. Wade wasn’t exactly gay per say. He was just more of an ass man, and hot damn was that just his kind of ass. It looked soft to the touch and looked just perfect all together. Wade came faster than he’s ever come before. The look of that ass, the scars, it was all too arousing for him.


End file.
